I think we’ve all heard of triggers. Things that rub us the wrong way, maybe cause us to fly off the handle a little bit, namely something that hits the nerve of an unhealed part of us. Triggers can be ugly, messy little mirrors into our souls. 

But what is a Glimmer? 

A glimmer is the polar opposite of that. They are moments that bring us feelings of peace, warmth, and safety. They make us ooze like a gooey chocolate chip cookie from the inside out. 

I find that triggers and glimmers kind of go hand in hand. They are the yin and the yang. Darkness and light. Where one exists, so does the other.

#17Summer has delivered this duality to me repeatedly and I have been really proud of myself because even if it took a little time, I have been able to FIND the glimmer on the other side of each trigger. 

As you read each of my short stories below, for this week’s Pause and Ponder I invite you to think of one Trigger / Glimmer situation you’ve faced this month and see if there’s a new lesson you learned (or even a friendly reminder). 

#1 – THE CHIPOTLE CHIPS

I love Chipotle’s tortilla chips. They put some kind of lime salt on them and they just make me HAPPY. Except for when they are stale. Which is about 50% of the time. And I don’t know that they are actually “stale” per se – but they’ve been sitting long enough that the oils soften them and they have a stale-chewy non-crunch, which is gross. I always find it so, so very disappointing. 

Two weeks ago Jerry went to Chipotle and came home with a bag of stale chips (kudos to Jerry for not eating half the bag on the way home as I likely would do). The chewy chips made me want to cry. It felt like a personal attack on me and my guacamole. 

THE TRIGGER: I just wanted chips. I just wanted crunchy love in my belly (yes, I may have been hiding a few emotions behind food, but that’s a different newsletter). I just wanted the thing I bought to be THE THING I BOUGHT. #Expectations.

Knowing the chips were shit anyway (and not being willing to drive BACK to Chipotle for new chips), I decided to throw them in my air fryer to see what would happen. 

THE GLIMMER: I will now forever more put ALL of my tortilla chips in the air fryer before I eat them. Those darn chips came out SO crispy, and SO warm, and they were SO delicious and they had the BEST texture, AND held the salty, limey flavor… that it nearly brought a tear to my eye. (Yes, I’m truly quite easy to please…). 

THE LESSON: Without the lousy chips I never would have learned how to make AMAZING chips. Learning something new from something stinky can make parts of your life better, forever. 

#2 – THE RAINBOW
Last week South Florida almost floated away. We had flood warnings, part of the freeway was closed, cars were stuck in random intersections, people cancelled their massage appointments because they couldn’t get to me, and it was just crappy overall. We needed the rain, but I much prefer the sun showers that show up daily during the summer months, last 15 minutes, and move on.
THE TRIGGER: I had to be out and about to handle some things that just required handling. The roads were scary. If any water splashes into my undercarriage, my AC turns off. That always makes me nervous because I don’t know what ELSE the water is splashing. Some intersections were super flooded and I was afraid I’d get stuck and end up on the evening news. My mind raced frantically through all kinds of crazy scenarios (Yes, it’s part of the healing I’m working on for myself. Staying present and not allowing my brain to make up tall-tales. Because Anxiety = Worry about the Future that hasn’t even happened yet).

THE GLIMMER: On Thursday evening, after the rain subsided, I ran out to pick up dinner. When I pulled out of the driveway I saw the biggest double rainbow I have seen in a long, long time. It spanned the entire skyline. There were no clouds to obstruct it. The sun was just beginning to set and threw hues of blue, orange, and yellow. I texted my friend Jebbie, who promptly posted a picture on her socials that said, “Portal jumping, Check ya laaaater” (I adore Jebbie because she takes magical things and takes them to the next stratosphere!). Jerry called me to make sure I had seen it and sent me the picture I included above. For the rest of the day and through the next day I got to enjoy all the pictures everyone posted on social media of the same magical rainbow from so many different perspectives. It brought me so much joy.

 THE LESSON: The first lesson was receiving the reminder that there is beauty on the other side of a storm. The second lesson was actually the enjoyment of seeing the same rainbow shared all over social media from so many different perspectives. A happy reminder that we all experience the same thing in a slightly different way.

#3 – THE WASHER FLUID

Totally unrelated to driving in the rains, on Friday my car didn’t want to back out of my driveway. It seized up, made a giant thunk and grind, and stopped. Jerry got it past the thunking and I started to drive her, but got to the end of my block when she started making a wretched grinding / shredding noise with an occasional screech. I returned home, used Jerry’s car, and in the process burst into tears.

 

THE TRIGGER: I need to feel safe in my car. I need to feel safe in life (we all deserve to feel safe in life). I am not particularly prepared to buy a new car right now (for various reasons, some are based in reality and some are not, like my desire to have an actual key ignition and not a keyless situation). Yes, my nervous system has been on edge, (hence #17Summer) so things that may not trigger me under normal circumstances have driven me to tears. 

 

THE GLIMMER: I was able to bring my car into my mechanic on Monday. It was an easy fix (bad emergency brake, a broken splash guard, and a broken wheel well cover thingy). But the BEST part? My mechanic filled up my wiper fluid. I’ve been driving around with that darn light on for who knows how long, and I just haven’t had time to deal with it (I got as far as Googling whether or not I could use Windex and the answer is a very firm “NO.”) When my mechanic told me he did that I got all choked up. I grasped at my heart through my chest and said, “Oh my gosh, you DID that for me? Thank you so much!” 

“Erin,” he said, “How many years have you been coming here? There’s no way I could see a low fluid light and NOT top it up.” 

(Again, it doesn’t take a lot to make me happy) 

 

THE LESSON: That darn washer fluid fill up made me feel SEEN. Another human saw a thing I needed and they just TOOK CARE OF IT. I didn’t have to ask. I didn’t have to negotiate. I didn’t have to beg. There was a need and he filled it. It felt AMAZING. There is power and love in the simple things we do for other humans.

I could list probably at least 3-4 more triggers and glimmers for you, but I think you get the idea. (I would like to give one more special shout out to Jerry for making me homemade ceviche last night which was AMAZING and exactly what I needed). It can feel like there’s always *something* going on. And you know what? There likely always will be. But somewhere in the layers of darkness, there are slivers of light. Hot crunchy chips. Rainbows. Washer fluid. And love. 

Because it’s all about love…

SAVE THE DATE!

I haven’t hosted an in person, live event in such a long time and I am so excited (like, truly beyond) to be co-hosting an event with my friend Julietta Wenzel of Body and Soul Ministries and Voices of the Goddess Podcast.

On July 16, 2024 from 6:00pm – 8:00pm we will be hosting “Chakra Balancing and EFT: Tap Into Your Inner Harmony.”

In this two hour event you will learn about chakras, EFT / Tapping, and together we will use tapping to help clear your energetic blockages and restore the natural flow of energy within your chakras. You’ll leave feeling more balanced and grounded, and walk away with a new tool to add to your self-care toolbelt. 

Click the button below to learn more and sign up to reserve your spot (spaces are limited).