Things in Erin’s Brain
Two weeks ago, #NotMyCat escaped.
Right out the back door.
We knew it was only a matter of time. There had been whining, and pawing at the door, and attempts to open the unstable screen to exit the same way she invited herself in four months ago.
Jerry tried to grab her, but being well fed and rested, she’s got a sleek shiny coat that slipped right through his fingers. Jerry ended up on his butt and the cat glided over the fence.
I wasn’t upset per se. I was sad that she wanted to leave so badly. I wondered when she would return. For dinner? In two weeks? Did she decide she didn’t want to live with us anymore? Was she choosing another home? A few hours after her getaway, I stepped outside, tiptoed through the long grass to the point on the fence where she disappeared and I called for her. The only response I received was angry chattering from a squirrel posted high on the power line.
It wasn’t until dusk (aka dinner time) that she slinked around the corner of the house and gave me a cautious “mew” seemingly asking permission to re-enter. My hands sat on my hips for all of 20 nan-seconds before I slid open the wobbly screen door and in she pranced, tail held high.
I don’t know what kind of carousing she was up to, but #NotMyCat stayed sacked out on my (her) bed for the next two days. I thought it was out of her system. But on Day 3 she was back at the door fussing and whining, wanting to cruise her ‘hood.
What I have come to realize is that this little creature has lived a life of freedom for her entire existence. While I have been in this neighborhood for a whole six years (at least five of them spent giving treats to #NotMyCat), this cat has maintained her own territory for fifteen years. Fifteen years.
I don’t like it. I wish she wanted to stay inside. I believe it’s safer for her. There’s a lot of variables out there. A lot of danger. I worry. I get scared. I don’t want any harm to come to her. Yet, quality of life trumps all.
Being on the other side of the fear, feeling the acceptance of the situation, felt oddly familiar to me. I pondered this for some time. I reflected back on the depths of my Caregiving duties. Jerry’s diagnosis. The surgeries. The transplant. Graft vs Host disease. Jerry almost died.
Yes. That was the feeling. Wanting the best. Having no control. Finding other ways to channel my energy (ie appointing myself First Mate of Jerry’s pirate ship). Acceptance that the choices were not mine to make.
“Control, or the divine perception of it…”
These are the first words in the section of my book that I chose for my audiobook sample. As a Caregiver I had no control. I wanted all of the decisions about Jerry’s medical care to be his. I wanted to support him. But… control… everything was out of my control. I chose this section because I wanted listeners to understand that “Welcome to Caregiving” is my story – what it’s REALLY like to be a Caregiver. It’s not Jerry’s story.
The audiobook version of “Welcome to Caregiving: The Things Caregivers Never Talk About” is live now on Audible and iTunes. I recorded it in my voice (with all the giggles and tears and sighs exactly where my heart wanted them to be).
You can click here to listen to a sample (there’s a button that says “listen” under the graphic of the book). I invite you to share it.
Because it’s all about love…
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TOMORROW IS THE DAY I start the craniosacral training I’ve been gushing about for… well… FOREVER now.
To introduce this special new modality into my practice I decided to do something a little different.
I am opening up FIVE spaces to experience craniosacral therapy with me on a DONATION basis from November 1 – November 15, 2022.
What does that mean?
Each of the five clients will receive one CranioSacral treatment from me in my Wilton Manors studio. Limit one donation based treatment per person. Not available for in home massage.
“Donation Based” means you may make a donation in whatever amount your heart desires. I do request cash, Zelle or Venmo (no credit cards for the donation based treatment please).
If you are interested in learning a little more about the benefits of craniosacral I invite you to visit the Upledger Institute (founders of this modality and where I will be completing my training).
The five sessions will be awarded on a first come, first served basis. So message me now if you know you want in. I’ll contact you to let you know if you are one of the five and to schedule your appointment.
Craniosacral will be available to book through my online booking portal beginning November 1, 2022.
I’m thrilled to be able to bring this healing modality to my community.