Things in Erin’s Head 

 

FINE.

We’ll talk about it. 

But I don’t particularly WANT to. 

The sourdough…. 

[this could be two sentences or two pages and I haven’t decided which way to go…]

If you’re limited on time, here’s the CliffsNotes Version: I made the bread. It was “fine.” It did not bring me joy. I’m not doing it anymore.

If you’re attempting to look busy on your computer, keep reading for the full version…

I’m actually trying to think back to why I wanted to make sourdough bread to begin with. Because <<First Name>>, I don’t BAKE. Yea, yea, I can doctor up a mean box of Duncan Hines to bake a cake, but typically my patience level for baking is eating the cookie dough raw straight out of the tube. 

So why did I think I would like making sourdough? 

Ignorance and desire. 

The desire is very real. I love sourdough. The sourdough I can get from the Publix bakery is fine. You can tell it’s a sourdough, but it just doesn’t have the heavy tang and spongy center of a San Francisco sourdough. And I miss it. In true Erin fashion, if I want it, I MUST be able to create it myself. (this statement isn’t UNtrue, but as you may have learned, on occasion I will unnecessarily pursue the more challenging path because I believe I can do everything MYSELF). 

Which leads us to ignorance. 

On occasion it truly is bliss… but not so much when you are baking bread. 

Did YOU know that sourdough bread baking is a THREE DAY process? As in, if you don’t time your shit right, you’re up in the middle of the night baking BREAD? Because you can’t let it overproof. You don’t want it to underproof. I knew there’d be a waiting period of sorts, but I wasn’t prepared for three days. 

But I did it. I held firm. I followed the directions impeccably. Bread was made. A mess was made. It came out fine. The crumb was decent (a little denser than I had hoped – but it had a nice soft, spongy texture). It tasted fine. But that’s where it lost me. “Fine” is not was I was going for. 

I was aiming for Boudin Bakery Sourdough quality (only one of the most famous sourdoughs ever – established in San Francisco in 1849). Realistic? Meh. Maybe not so much, but I was definitely looking for a level up from Florida based Publix Supermarket. That my friends, I did not achieve. The tang just wasn’t in my loaves. If I had not personally purchased sourdough starter, spent a week feeding and talking to and nurturing the starter, and three daaayyyyyys messing around with loaves… that first bite would not have convinced me it was sourdough. 

I felt like a flopped souffle. 

And then… not really on purpose (but I also made zero effort)… I killed my starter. I think. I haven’t looked at it, but I imagine it’s starving in the back of my refrigerator because I was supposed to feed it last Sunday… (as in 17 days ago).

But you know what? 

I. Don’t. Want. To. Bake. More. Bread.

Baking sourdough does not bring me joy. At all. Satisfaction = Nil. So instead I shall search South Florida for a sourdough that pleases my palette. (Interestingly enough I can buy a single round from Boudin on Amazon for $15… or two rounds from Boudin’s website for $45… )

I paused my newsletter writing to take a trip down the sourdough Internet rabbit hole… it looks like Sprouts has some viable options. And honest to goodness I completely forgot about Zak the Baker, based in Miami, and I have a vague recollection that I really enjoy their sourdough… which means a trip to Whole Foods may be in order today…

(could it have been that easy??)

Stay tuned.

Because it’s all about love…

P.S. I’m toying with the idea of adding a few little journal prompts at the end of my newsletter stories. Just a little something to help you pause and ponder. How does that make you feel? You can keep them to yourself or you’re welcome to share with me. If you want to start a community conversation, join my Taking the Pause Facebook group where I’ll post the same questions and the group can co-create, collaborate, and support one another. 

This week’s Pause and Ponder:

Where in your life are you not accepting the path of least resistance? 

When was the last time you tried something new, just to play around and see what happened?  

 

 

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Because it’s all about love.