Things in Erin’s Brain
I’m going to be straight with you. I’m sad. I’m so sad that I didn’t want to write this week’s newsletter. “I need to think of something happy to talk about. They expect me to be funny.”
But life isn’t always funny.
And when I was in the shower trying to come up with something funny, the truth hit me (most of my best ideas come to me in the shower).
“Nope. I’m going to just be me.”
Maybe this won’t be everyone’s favorite newsletter (I don’t know – this might be better than the roaches), but this is EXACTLY what I’m talking about in my book. How Caregivers (yes, capital C – Caregivers) move through their world with a “It’s fine, I’m fine,” outward mentality, when inside they are crumbling, afraid to share their feelings of sadness, or heaven forbid – ANGER. It’s WHY I wrote the book. It’s WHY I shared my very personal stories of fear, anger, and my absolute crazy behavior. It’s why my book transcends caregiving alone… because it’s the things PEOPLE never talk about.
Everyone in my world is fine. No one is sick, there’s no weird diagnoses. No one is injured. Except my ego and my heart. Yes, I *will* be fine, but today I’m sad (and angry). Anger is the hardest emotion for me to admit and feel. Guilt always comes first, and they say guilt is anger turned inward. So I’m making space to lick my wounds (and kick some rocks) and love on myself.
Because it’s all about love…
Massage Minute brought to you by
Since I don’t feel like sharing details about my tragically broken spirit (okay, I’m over-embellishing a TAD), I thought I’d talk about couples massages.
Because couples massages are lame (sad, angry Erin does not mince words).
Why are they lame? Here’s my top three reasons:
1) You pay EXTRA to have the same exact massage you would receive in a room by yourself.
In fact, you may be receiving a lower quality massage (see below). If that’s not enough…
2) It’s never really peaceful.
I’ve done a TON of couples massages. Inevitably someone snores. Someone talks. If the therapists don’t coordinate then clients are turned over at different times and that can disrupt your Zen. If the massage space is tiny and if the therapists aren’t used to working with one another or plan their pattern, it can be kind of a cluster. If the therapists over coordinate, you may not receive the focus you need on the areas of your body you need work the most. So not only are you not receiving your own personal Zen time, but you may not be receiving the BEST massage your therapist has to offer.
3) You are not receiving the same massage as your couples partner.
Every massage therapist is different and you receive the massage that therapist performs. It’s not some magical coordination where you are feeling exactly what your couples partner is feeling because we are doing our own damn thing.
I used to think the couples massage was a magical, intimate, shared experience. Until the time the spa tried to put me in a room with someone else’s husband. Once I was reunited with Jerry he fell asleep an snored. It was lame. Now I prefer it when Jerry and I each receive our own private sessions and then come back together, each feeling refreshed, renewed, and excited to share our experience.
Tell me – did I burst your couples massage bubble? Do you really, really, really, like to peek your head up from the table to see if your partner is enjoying their massage? Or maybe you like the idea of efficiency – having massages at the same TIME. Or maybe, just maybe, you’re not a Priss Pot like me and everything I talked about is cool with you because you just want to share space with the one you love.
Because it’s all about love…