Things in Erin’s Head

I feel like I’m playing peek-a-boo with myself.

I had an entirely different newsletter written for today. WRITTEN. But as I sat at my computer at 9:30pm getting ready to send to you, I got a tickle in my heart. Because what’s on my mind and in my heart RIGHT NOW is not what I typed earlier this afternoon on breaks between massage clients.

What’s on my mind is this: being visible.

Being seen.

Do you feel seen, my friend?

If you don’t… maybe this message is for you too, because I received it twice in exactly a weeks time.

The first instance was last Tuesday. That night, I completed a 9 month coaching program called Liminal. The space between. Having a dream and executing it. Executing the dream and developing the next step, not knowing what was really coming next.  Navigating self… how we respond to overwhelm, what excites us, the root of these things, where we feel it in our bodies, our window of tolerance, and of course… fucking around and finding out (because if you can’t have fun doing all of it, then darn it, what’s the point?). 

At the end of the evening, our mentor shared with us a document she compiled of pages and pages of things people from our communities said about us. As I read through the pages for the first time, all my brain could register was, “Who are all these people??” There were no names provided. Names were not even collected. I will never know who said these beautiful things about me (except I’m 98.9% certain of the one my bestie wrote, but even she’s pleading the 5th).

If you wrote one, thank you. It’s a true gift to see this reflection of myself in the eyes of others.

Ah, but there was a lesson!  There will be people to see us, who receive us, who appreciate us for all of our qualities. Our joy, quirkiness, humor, and loyalty.

And we may never, ever know it. 

The second time I received this message was last night (also a TUESDAY, weird, right?). I attended a psychic-medium event hosted by my friend Kristen Swinehart. Many times, my maternal grandmother will communicate with me from beyond, but last night, my great aunt came through. A woman of few words, her very unexpected message came through as this,

“I’m not someone you’d expect to hear from, am I? Just remember there are people who see you and hear you, people you help, people who need you, and you will never know who they are.”

So as we edge up to the end of Hump Day, I’m sharing this message with you from the here and now:

You, dear reader, make more of a difference than you know. 

You are seen.

You may never know by whom or by how many, but you are loved.

Because it’s all about love…