Things in Erin’s Head


For months now my showerhead has been malfunctioning. The little holes were clogged with calcium, iron, grit, and who knows what else (I refuse to Google it). I sprayed it with random shower cleaner and it only made it worse. Water shot out from each individual hole in a different, random direction, and no matter how I angled it, there was always one stream of water that shot directly into my eyeball. 

I kept trying to make adjustments.

I finally turned the little dial until water did NOT shoot in my eye, and that setting apparently is also the one used for pressure washing concrete. I have been blasting my face, head, and back with this fire hose for months now. This is not a happy, relaxing, loving way to start (or end) my days. 

I’m not quite certain what made me reach my breaking point, but I decided I’d make one last effort to fix it before purchasing a new shower head. I dug around in the garage until I found some toxic chemical compound, I unscrewed the showerhead and I left it soaking in a container overnight. (Overnight was a big deal for me because I really like things fixed in five seconds or less – hence the fire hose, good-enough, “solution”).

The next morning I rinsed off the showerhead, gave thanks that the toxic chemicals didn’t burn through the random Tupperware I used for soaking, and successfully reinstalled the showerhead. (Thank the Heavens because I had a very real fear that somehow I’d break something and have to remodel the entire bathroom – you know how that goes, don’t you?)

Still feeling skeptical, I turned on the water. Still on the fire hydrant setting, water shot clear across the length of the tub and I scrambled up to angle the showerhead and turned the setting dial.

Ladies and Gentlemen. The flow softened. The spray? All in one direction. An even flow from every single teeny tiny hole. I dropped my robe and stepped in. The water was so warm and inviting and SOFT. I wasn’t being beaten. I wasn’t being thrashed. I let that water gently spray on my face, chuckling to myself that now I’d have to find another way to exfoliate. 

And in that moment I wondered how else I was torturing myself? 

How often do we just settle for hard?

How often does a Caregiver (or any of us?) just stay clogged up because we don’t take the time to soak overnight to release all the toxic bits? 

What if I had properly cleaned the showerhead more frequently? Would it have been such a chore? Would I have had to suffer for as long as I did? 

What if we gave ourselves permission to take brief pauses to soften the grit and allow it wash away, instead of letting it build up and thrash us from the inside out?

Last week I went to a lovely mini retreat hosted by my friends Julietta Wenzel and Graciela Laurent (I have also been a guest on and a sponsor of their podcast Voices of the Goddess and you can check out my interview HERE).  The evening was a beautiful combination of education and experience with a community of women all there to both support and surrender. We enjoyed warm cacao, a grounding meal, a beautiful live songstress, breath work, sound healing, and journaling reflection. It unclogged the showerhead of my soul. 

Maybe this sounds a little woo for you – maybe you are more into the smash house kinda thing – and I’m not gonna lie – I can be that too (I found one near my house and I really, really want to do it!). It all has it’s place.

But whatever is clogging you up – feelings, physical clutter, an utterly overwhelming to-do list… is there a 15 minute way you can pause and filter out the gunk?  And if fifteen minutes feels too long, how about five? (and if you want to kick me – go ahead and kick a pillow, then try coming back to this idea…)

This month, for #NationalFamilyCaregiversMonth, I put out five new short videos on my YouTube channel with Caregiver affirmations. They are literally 60 – 90 seconds long. A little something to get you out of your head for just ONE MINUTE. 

Because you deserve to be in flow, without water shooting you in the eye.

It’s all about love…

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