Things in Erin’s Head

This week I recorded a podcast episode (which will air in April) with Rikki Smith for her show Faith on Friday. She asked me a question no one has asked me before, 

“Was there a part of your book you almost left out?”

I’m curious to see the final cut of the video because I feel like my face froze in that way that you don’t know if the Zoom feed has frozen or not: Eyes a little too wide, jaw a little too slack… because the answer was instant.

Yes.

There was a BIG part I almost left out. 

“Let’s Talk About Sex” is in the “Recovery” section of my best selling book, “Welcome to Caregiving: The Things Caregivers Never Talk About.” A chunk of it was written, submitted to my coach, and then she had to draw the rest out of me in a rather painstaking way (it was painful for ME anyway). 

Because I’m not *super* comfortable talking about s-e-x. 

In addition to just never, ever, never ever talking about sex openly in my LIFE, I am also a massage therapist. SO, everything I do or say has to be done with very clear, concise messaging and non-sexual energy, because some people… well… I’m not going to hop on that soap box today. I know you know what I’m talking about << Test First Name >>.

I wrote the sex chapter because it was a very real thing. The shift in sexual desire was significant, not just for the patient who had a football size organ pulled out of his body and a new one crammed in there, but for ME, the Caregiver. But it drove home a bigger question – what about *intimacy*?

“Do I really, really have to talk about s-e-x?” I wondered to myself? But yeah. I did. Because the entire message of the book is THINGS CAREGIVERS NEVER TALK ABOUT. How could I leave out this entire human experience? I couldn’t. Instead, I got real, honest, and very, very vulnerable. 

There were two fears that came up frequently when I was going through the book publishing process:

1) What if no one reads it?
2) Shit, what if people READ this!?

Despite my insecurities, the sex chapter has emerged as one of the fan favorites from my book. Rikki shared with her audience that she’s not a Caregiver (yet) and the sex chapter alone struck home with her. Because LIFE happens and affects how we show up for ourselves and for others.

I haven’t decided if I’m going to read an excerpt from this section at my live, in-person book reading next week. The lighting may not be able to handle my blushing… What do you think? Do you think I should go for it?

Because it’s all about love…