Things in Erin’s Head 

 

The summer I was seventeen… it was 1992… and it was quite possibly the best summer of my life.

I was invincible. I had a car (it had a random secret compartment to store Zima). I had a job as an assistant underwriter at an insurance company, because I was smart and responsible (and one single person believed in me and spoke up for me). I had 100% disposable income. I had friends and there was plenty of beach time, parties, and BOYS (sorry, Daddy…). I had freedom… my parents had me on a relatively short leash since I was about to be an “adult” in a mere heartbeat. I was happy. I was FREE. I was having fun, without a care in the world. And I can tap into that feeling right now, thirty-some-odd years later. The feeling of that very specific summer. 

That feeling, Dear Reader, is my new goal for the next three months. The feeling of the summer I was seventeen.

What led me here, you ask? Do you know when I took my last vacation? It was two years ago. TWO YEARS. It was a long weekend to Vero Beach, Florida. For my anniversary. 

Yes, there have been other travels, for work, or to meet someone else’s needs. But nothing that particularly replenished my soul like the Vero Beach trip actually did in it’s short, three days.

In reflecting on the past eight years of my life there have been amazing things, terrifying things, and sad things (in no specific order):

My husband had a liver transplant. He almost died. For real. 
His cancer came back. We handled it.
His cancer came back. We handled it. (not a typo)
His cancer came back. We handled it. (again… not a typo). 

I wrote and self-published a #2 best selling book (buy it or review it >>HERE<<)
I spoke at a national convention for transplant social workers (and received a standing ovation).

I’ve built a personal brand, done a mess of podcasts, spoken to support groups, and I create this little ditty every week. 

I’m also a pretty darn good massage therapist (for 12 years running – my longest career ever).

I’m our house manager, accountant, cleaner, and chef. 

During this eight year time period, three of my cats crossed the rainbow bridge. First Duke, then Ted, and finally, Cecilia. One very two years. I lost my dearly, dearly beloved grandmother less than two months ago. I have grieved my husband’s possible death countless times (perceived grief is so, so real. Please don’t discount it if you’re living it or witnessing it). 

My parents and my grandparents moved from 3,000 miles away to three blocks away.

I went to Japan and visited the orphanage where my husband lived for the first 18 months of his life.

Throw in a pandemic (just for good measure.)

I memorialize these things more for me than for you… Is this normal life? Perhaps. Honestly, these highs and lows are just the tip of the iceberg. The things that were top of mind. There’s at least a dozen more that are floating just beneath the surface. And this mama needs a break. A break from… “What’s NEXT?”

So today, my dear << Test First Name >>, is the first day of Seventeen Summer. The Snow Birds are gone. I’m at the beach, writing this in a fresh, clean notebook, freehand. I wore my string bikini with the rhinestones (cellulite be damned – it’s my favorite bikini). Later I’m having margaritas with a wonderful friend (and I may or may not be typing this out post-margarita(s)). For the next three months I’m going to WRITE, and PLAY, and COOK. Maybe I’ll fix some of the broken shit in my house. Or maybe not. (haha – there’s sunscreen smudged on the pages in my notebook and I love it). I’m going to SWIM and maybe I’ll get a little color on this pale, office toned skin of mine. I’m getting a haircut. Maybe a pedicure. And I’m going to open up additional times on my massage calendar, because my heart loves it. I’m going to READ. And I might (just might) delete my socials from my phone (we shall see how that goes). 

And then, my dear reader, we will see how my path illuminates. What things become clear. Because I have so, so much more to give.

I’d truly love to hear about your favorite summer ever. Even if you can’t remember all of the details, can you FEEL it?? Can you feel the excitement, the buzz, the sun soaked love? 

Because it’s all about love…

Want to Support #17Summer ? 

You’re not quite close enough to get a massage from me. You love my stories (and sometimes you see a little glimmer of yourself in there). You want to show a little support, a little gratitude, but maybe aren’t quite sure how. Now you too, can…

BUY ME A TACO

You can use this link to share the love (and keep tacos in my belly).
Because Tacos = Love. 

Because it’s all about love.